Why we need to hold off on Star Trek technology for a while


We should put a hold on all new technology for the next 20 years or until people learn to appreciate the technology we already have. You realize that we have shit they made up in Star Trek, right now…RIGHT FUCKING NOW we have things that were a big deal on the starship Enterprise and people just bitch about them.

We have communicators…FUCKING COMMUNICATORS! They flip up just like the 60’s ones AND are more compact and as an added bonus contain Tripod capabilities, advising of dangerous atmospheric conditions, local geography, they even fucking scan and give us porn as an added bonus. You never heard anyone on Star Trek go “Fucking piece of shit communicator, it won’t download this damned app fast enough! Fucking Gene Roddenberry!”

We have computers…that TALK TO US! We finally got to the point where you can ask a computer, or Google to be exact, ANYTHING AT ALL and it will be like “Whatever bra, here’s your Japanese puke porn where the guy shoots puke up the girls butt and she sprays it across the room like a poop water rocket!” and it doesn’t judge you. Did you EVER even see the computers on Trek deliver that kind of results? NO! Yet all we do is complain that the video is buffering too long and not showing us the Japanese butt puke cannon fast enough. What’s wrong with you people?*

If we could just start appreciating the amazing things we have for a while that would be awesome because I really, really want to enjoy it when transporter technology happens and not have it ruined by consumers complaining that they aren’t able to take duck face pictures or write reviews on Yelp while it’s turning their body into pure energy and transmitting it to neighboring planets, because you know that will happen.

*Yes, that porn does actually exist, it is to say the least, impressive.


About zacharybyronhelm

Urban explorer, hearse driver, media whore, writer, film maker and general ne'er do well. www.sorpfilms.net www.hearseclub.com
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